Offlein.com

...hello Captain Ahab. Let me be your Moby Dick.

Hello! How can I help you?

Offlein.com

...the smartest show on television

Art and Design

I've done a handful of illustrations over the years. Some are even not bad. Larger versions are available upon request.

  • FG Thanksgiving 2012 - A Thanksgiving card for Ferrazzi Greenlight, utilizing their four mindsets: Generosity, Intimacy, Candor, and Accountability

Offlein.com

...the smartest show on television

Guitar Tabs

I write guitar tabs sometimes when I can't find any for a song I like. Here they are. ALL OF 'EM!

Offlein.com

...Dee Snider's Twisted Sister Reunion Page

Soul

We don't have souls (...probably), but this may help you disengage your parietal lobe.

Offlein.com

...a real American Hero

Silliness

This whole site used to house my employment info and a bunch of garbage I randomly threw up. Now the garbage is separated onto this page.

  • Ringtone - Offlein.com, your source for all the best ringtone. ...There's only one. (Loituma's Ievan Polka)
  • I hear you - I smoke a cigar in a manner that could be used to visually indicate solemn empathy.
  • Moon Landing Hoax - We have reason to believe Louis Armstrong never actually walked on the moon. (A visual joke.)